Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep,
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.

There is a reasonably safe procedure for problem-free air travel with ashes:

1. During transport keep the ashes in a temporary, semi-opaque well sealed container so that airport screening machines will have no difficulty in viewing the contents. Containers are usually available from your crematorium but feel free to contact us if you have difficulties locating one.
2. Make sure the container is well sealed with no chance of spillage.
3. Ask your crematorium for a letter confirming the name and date of death of the person who’s ashes are being transported. You could even go so far as to include in the letter the intended destination for the ashes and have it signed on letterhead by a staff member of the crematorium or funeral director.
4. If taking the ashes as hand-luggage, advise the security operator at the x-ray check point of the contents of the container and offer to produce the above paperwork.
5. Always check with your airline in advance. And remember that international travel regulations will vary greatly with each country and airline.

This email is the direct response from the Office of Transport Security when queried regarding transport of ashes on Australian Domestic aircraft (RManagement@infrastructure.gov.au):
”The Office of Transport Security (OTS) has overall responsibility for regulating passenger security screening under the Aviation Transport Security Act 2004 and the Aviation Transport Security Regulations 2005 (the Regulations).  The Regulations provide a description of items that are considered to be prohibited items and as such cannot be carried on board an aircraft, in carry-on baggage. Neither the Act or the Regulations specifically prohibit the carriage of ashes or human remains on board an aircraft.  
However, assessment of individual items in carry-on baggage is the responsibility of the screening authorities at each airport.  The Regulations do not provide an exhaustive list and the authorities responsible for undertaking security screening, namely the airport operator or its nominated screening authority, will have final determination as to whether an item is able to travel in carry on luggage or must be carried in checked baggage. Screening personnel are trained and experienced in the recognition of prohibited and permitted items for carry-on baggage.  You may wish to contact the relevant screening authority for the airport to obtain further clarification on the carriage of ashes in carry-on baggage.”

Ashes may be scattered at the person’s favourite location, at a park, from a small aircraft or hot air balloon (check with the aircraft operators as to the suitability of winds and operational mechanics of the craft before planning air scatterings. You may find with some helicopters or aircraft that ashes may be accidently swept into mechanical areas or engines due to wind turbulence.) We have found ocean scatterings to be quite a popular option for clients. The ‘Shell’ and ‘Journey’ water biodegradable urns are designed to hold the entire ashes inside, float for five minutes then gracefully sink to the ocean floor before degrading and having the ashes scattered by the ocean currents. Some countries have strict rules as to the disposal of ashes in waterways. Check with local councils as to any restrictions on where you are planning your scatterings. In general most areas are fine as long as it is not a designated marine sanctuary or at absolute beachfront near the shore. We can be of assistance in some cases obtaining information.

At Home:
Most people aren’t aware that it’s ok to have your loved ones ashes interned into a brick wall at home, the same as most cemetaries. Most however opt for some style of urn. Unique sculptured urns that look more like modern art objects have risen in popularity as families treasure having ashes kept inside their homes but are not wanting the traditional ‘vase’ shaped urns made from metal. Crystal, ceramics, and even rare woods are being used to create one-off and unique designs that reflect the individuality of the person that has passed on.

If you were considering some style of garden memorial where the ashes are being buried in the earth, there are some good options. You may consider and eco friendly ‘green’ style of biodegradable urn which is made from recycled paper materials. These bio urns have ashes placed in them then buried in the soil. They break down naturally over a period of approximately three months.

A more permanent ash burial solution is to use an urn of material such as marble which is far more sturdy and longer lasting than most types of metal urns. Marble will naturally lose its lustre but being stone will ensure that the ashes inside are well protected from the elements. If you ever need to move house it can be easily exhumed with confidence knowing your loved one’s cremains are still secure inside. Keep in mind that all urns should have their lids sealed securely.

Columbarium/Mausoleum:
These are the name of specifically designated structures for the placement of urns containg ashes. A Columbarium is constructed solely for ashes whereas a Mausoleum is for both caskets and entombments of the non-cremated as well as urns with ashes. These structures may be free standing or built in to part of a church or other memorial and can be located in private areas or cemetaries and church grounds.

Some Australian examples are:

NSW – Rookwood
http://www.rookwoodindependent.com.au/mausoleums.aspx

VICTORIA – Melbourne
http://necropolis.net.au/melbournegeneral/mausolea-introduction.html

SOUTH AUSTRALIA – Enfield
http://aca.sa.gov.au/enfield-mausoleum/

WEST AUSTRALIA – Fremantle - http://www.mcb.wa.gov.au/OurCemeteries/Fremantle/mausoleum.html

QUEENSLAND – Bridgeman Downs
http://www.forpeaceofmind.com.au/vol9/regular_features/cemetery_in_review.cfm

(if you are a representative of a Mausoleum or Columbarium and would like your facility added to this list please contact us.)

Cemeteries
Most cemeteries will have a section of grounds dedicated to the disposition of ashes. Generally you will find such options as Rememberence Walls and Scattering Gardens, along with options to have the ashes buried under a tree, rose bush, shrubbery etc and a plaque placed with the ashes in dedication of your loved one.

Metal:
By far the heaviest of metal urns are made from bronze. We stock a range of bronze urns from unique one-off statues through to standard bronze vase shaped urns and rectangle urns that also display photos in memorium. These are also the most expensive due to the quality and weight. We also stock other standard metals that are less expensive but still very strong and durable. Titanium is another ultra strong but extremely light form of metal that is used in some memorial jewellery products.

Ceramics
The majority of artistic urns are moulded or spun using ceramic clay. They are then painted and fired in a kiln to produce the amazing results that make up sculpted ceramic urns. There are different methods of firing and producing the urns. Some are gilded with gold flake or titanium paint for interesting effects..

Urns Online stock a wide variety of genuine Madelyn Co. memorial jewelry made in the USA. Or for the entire collection you can visit our 2009 Preferred Supplier, www.memorialjewellery.com.au

We also stock other designs made in the US and Asia. All of our pendants come complete with free matching chains and complete instructions on how to fill your memorial jewellery as well as how to care for it.

Grief responses are very individual. Each person will react in their own unique way. There are certain chemicals released by the grieving person, sometimes for months after the death, which are normal. These chemicals change the way we think and feel. Often a birthday, Christmas and the 1st. anniversary of the death are especially difficult times. It can take 2-5 years to re-adjust after a death of a loved one.

Grief affects us both emotionally and physically. Our thought processes can alter for a time. Being vague and forgetful, fear of going crazy, too much sleeping or lack of it are normal. Some people say they see or hear the person who has died. Our bodily systems can change, more infections, coughs, colds, high blood pressure all occur with some grieving people and can be checked by your doctor.

When a loved one has suffered a long drawn out illness, it is common to feel relieved or glad when the person dies. In time you will feel sad at the loss of that person in your life and perhaps experience guilt at your earlier reaction of relief, especially if the death has given you greater personal freedom. Grief is like being on a roller-coaster, your emotions can change from day to day or even hour to hour. When grieving, we need to be kind to ourselves and not make judgements on our own behaviour. If you find yourself having a good day, enjoy it, the next day you could feel devastated again.

A sudden death is different from an expected death. When someone is dying we have the opportunity to deal with 'unfinished business' and perhaps lessen our regrets of things we wish we had said or done. With sudden and unexpected death there usually has been no opportunity for this and the grieving can be different. It can be most important then to spend some time with the deceased person i.e. viewing to say goodbye.

People who are grieving need to be allowed to express their feelings in a safe environment. They need to know you will not judge or devalue their feelings by using cliches such as 'At least he didn't suffer'. What you can say to a grieving person is something like 'I wish I had the words to ease the pain you are going through right now'.

(source: Aust. Funeral Directors Association – www.afda.org.au)

Grief Counselling

Australian Centre for Grief and Bereavement
http://www.grief.org.au/

Groups such as Compassionate Friends (http://www.compassionatefriendsvictoria.org.au/about_us.htm) is a good first stepping stone on the way to recovery and is a wonderful resource of material and advice on beginning the healing process.

Urns Online was actually created after the loss of our beloved Newfoundland dog, Rumpole, and the lack of original urn styles available on the market, that prompted us to begin trading and to source and supply a wider variety of urns for pets than what was available at the time.

Here are a couple of web links that we hope will help:

Pet Loss Forum - http://www.lovemypet.com.au/forum/forum.asp?FORUM_ID=37
Pet Loss Matters - http://www.pet-loss-matters.com/

One of the most touching I have personally visited is just outside of the WA Wheatbelt town of Corrigin:
http://www.exploroz.com/Places/77866/WA/The_Dog_Cemetery.aspx
A list of the gravesites is located here:
http://www.ozburials.com/CemsO/dogcem.htm
(many thanks to the author of the list who cared enough to write them all down!).